You reek of loneliness, frustration, pain, isolation, emptiness. But they don’t see it. They see the fake smile that covers your smooth face, the beautiful dress which rest on your body, The types of shoe you wear which adds beauty to your long legs.
Yesterday, they — your friends, I mean — clustered around you, chatting and keeping you company. You were there but your mind was somewhere else. You just wanted to leave; wanted to be left alone. Then you faked a call and left without returning again.
You don’t breath life anymore. You detest everything and everyone now. Your head bangs every night. You think too much. Your mind is covered in thoughts. Everyday, the headache worsens.
Your mother kind of noticed. She came into your room to speak with you, to know if anything was bothering you, but you didn’t speak up. For you knew that she won’t understand. You didn’t want to worry parents. You kept wallowing in pain, sadness and fear.
This morning, you woke up with a determination — to end everything eating you up, draining you. You called your friends, hung out with them. You chatted all through. They were surprised at the sudden change of behavior. You got home that evening, prepared dinner, ate with your parents and siblings.
That was it. You’ve had a nice day with those you love. But the sadness, and pain were still there. But you didn’t mind, you would end it soon. You laid down, waiting for the right time.
11:00PM. The alarm startled you. Slowly, you got out of bed, made to the window, tied down the long rope to the leg of your table and to your neck. You climbed up and looked down to the dark street. There was no second thought; something was pushing you to do it.
You were just going to jump when the light came on immediately. It was from a room opposite your house. Your eyes went there immediately. Then you saw it. The inscription boldly written:
“Don’t be afraid to live! You’re life itself!”
You jumped down immediately, felt a new wave of calmness. You’re a survivor.